Even while Jeff was out screwing someone else, he managed to screw me. His alarm clock woke me up at 9:15 this morning, a mere 4 hours after I had touched down in Slumberland. So I poked holes in all his condoms. Hey, it's an eye for an eye...

I've put the kibosh on my plan to sell trucker hats to the Danes. Turns out, it's like selling sand to the Saudis. Trucking has been a long-established national pastime of the Danish people, and they all have impressive collections of hats. Who knew?

PUERTO RICAN WATCH - Day 8. It's been eight days since I've seen a Puerto Rican.

Mel Gibson's The Producers? - There are posters in the metro stations for THE PRODUCERS which is either coming to Copenhagen’s stages as the musical or Copenhagen’s theatres as the movie that was based on the musical that was based on the original movie. The posters say, “THE PRODUCERS, Forår For Hitler.” I had to refer to my Danish-English dictionary to make sure that "forår" did indeed translate to "springtime” and not "hooray” as I had feared in my anti-Semitic paranoia.

Speaking of the mustachioed dictator, I'm reminded of a conversation I had the other day with another DIS student about the girls of Denmark. We both agreed that they are super smokin' (and that they do also like to smoke), but I had some difficulty swallowing his follow-up comment, “Maybe Hitler had the right idea?” Maybe... yeah, no, totally, because I'm pretty sure if Hitler hadn't killed those 12 million people, the world would be devoid of hotties. No Maxim, no Playboy, no Skinemax - just dark-haired, mutant half-beasts roaming the earth, making ugly babies and letting their fingernails grow really long. But thanks to Hitler, it's blondes, blondes, and more blondes! Yep, maybe Hiter did have the right idea, and maybe I should travel without my Chai necklace.