Who's to say...

As I sat in Sal’s Pizza snickering at a morbidly obese woman wash down a slice of Sicilian with a diet coke in the booth next to me, listening to Joe Morgan and Jon Miller call the Yankees-Mets game on the television behind me, and watching tattooed, spiky-haired employees in “got sauce?” t-shirts shuttle between the kitchen and the counter around me, I realized that I was likely the only one in the room who could locate Denmark on a map. Certainly, I was the only one who had lived there for four months. Did that make me feel better than everyone else? Yeah.

But there are no fat people to silently judge in Denmark; no Sunday Night Baseball presented by Taco Bell, no hackneyed t-shirt parodies, no Sal’s Pizza.

America, fuck yeah.