According to The Internet, Chuck Norris can do many extraordinary things. According to The Digital Short, the young Chuck Norris used his hands and his feet. I cannot tell you how the aging film and television star has captured the cultural zeitgeist (my guess, he baited a venus flytrap with a pirated DVD of Brokeback Mountain), but I can do my part by jumping on to the Chuckwagon (Chuck Norris bandwagon). The following is a list of more amazing true facts about the martial arts expert and erstwhile actor, compiled with the help of Señor Detecto and his tireless investigation:

- Chuck Norris once ate 4 hot dogs in one sitting.
- Chuck Norris has smoked in an airplane lavatory.
- Chuck Norris routinely takes more than 8 Tylenol Gelcaps in 24 hours without consulting a physician.
- Chuck Norris knows Vanilla Ice by his real name, Robert Van Winkle.
- Chuck Norris once went one and a half days without urinating.
- Chuck Norris isn't afraid to order a Shirley Temple.
- When Chuck Norris drops his kippah, he doesn't bother kissing it before putting it back on his head.
- Chuck Norris stands shiva.
- Chuck Norris does not backup his hard drive, even though he's read that he should.
- Chuck Norris supports a flat tax.
- Chuck Norris likes his pasta al dente.
- When instant messaging, Chuck Norris uses WAWAHAHAHA rather than LOL to express laughter.
- Chuck Norris knows how to play the intro to Stairway to Heaven on the guitar.
- Chuck Norris tips 14 percent, and waiters still thank him.
- Chuck Norris does not toilet paper the seat.
- Chuck Norris ejaculates during lap dances.
- Chuck Norris has 195 friends on The Facebook.