STOP THE PRESSES!

I am POST-poning my Norway post (get it?) to bring you genuine hilarity, in e-mail form. Dilligent readers may be aware of my recent fascination with TAPLEY ENTERTAINMENT, a company offering the services of celebrity impersonators and look-a-likes for corporate functions or private parties. My intrigue lies not only with the disturbing nature of the impersonator lifestyle but also with the staggering potential for humor provided by the look-a-like industry. Itching to explore that potential, I sent the following e-mail to Tapley Entertainment yesterday, and I received a response earlier today from the President/Founder/likely sole employee of the company, David Tapley. Getting an e-mail from the president of a company is... well, there are few words to describe it, although "remoulade" and "Sasquatch" come to mind (he always does). I appreciate Mr. Tapley's quick and poignant reply, and I look forward to contacting the man again in the very near future.



To: info@talentbookingusa.com
Sent: Sunday, February 26, 2006 12:15 PM
Subject: In need of celebrity impersonators

Dear Sir or Madam at TAPLEY ENTERTAINMENT,

I was making preparations for my son's Bar Mitzvah party when I came across your company's webpage offering the services of celebrity impersonators. I am very impressed with your large selection of look-a-likes who, from their pictures and descriptions, seem like world-class talents! I also enjoy the layout of your website (easy to navigate, excellent choice of blue color).

The theme of the party is "Irony," and I must say, it has been a most difficult theme to plan. That is, until I discovered your company! I believe your impersonators and look-a-likes will be of great help to me in pulling of the perfect Bar Mitzvah for my son. The party's theme demands the services of the following impersonators in your employ: Pope Benedict XVI, Santa Claus, and Archie Bunker. Your website offers two Pope Benedict impersonators - it would be best if you sent both (after all, what says "irony" better than two popes? LOL!!!).

There are certain celebrity look-a-likes that would be essential to the party's theme, but unfortunately I do not see them listed on your website (maybe they have not yet been added to the site?). The celebrities in question are Jeremy Irons and Adolf Hitler. It would be very important for the Jeremy Irons impersonator to wear a large nametag that says, "Hello, my name is JEREMY IRONS" and written underneath in parentheses, "(How ironic!!!)." I would also request that your Adolf Hitler impersonator resemble the famed dictator in appearance and voice only, and not in personality.

Note: In the event your Hitler look-a-like is not available for the party (weekend of August 12-13), I would accept your Jeremy Irons look-a-like, dressed in full Gestapo uniform, as a suitable substitute (who will be able to tell the difference, really?). If necessary, I can provide extra swastika armbands.

My son and I are very excited to book your impersonators for his irony-themed party. Together with the Nation of Islam Boys Choir and a BBQ pork rib and shrimp buffet, your celebrity look-a-likes will make this the best Bar Mitzvah ever!

Sincerely,

T. Guy Minetti
Renegade Carpentry, Minetti & Associates
207 E. 33nd Street
Baltimore, MD 21218

P.S. Please respond post haste with price quotes and availabilities for your impersonators. August is closer than it seems!



From: Dave Tapley
Sent: Monday, February 27, 2006 10:51 AM
To: "T. Guy Minetti"
Subject: Re: In need of celebrity impersonators

You must be kidding